A couple of 80-year-olds having problems remembering things decided to see the doctor to make sure nothing was wrong.

After his examination the doctor said they were well but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember.

The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked where he was going.

When he replied to the kitchen for a snack she asked for a bowl of ice cream.

Then she said he should write it down so he would remember it.

He said: ‘‘No, I can remember that."

The wife responded: ‘‘Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you`ll forget that."

Came the slightly irritated reply: ‘‘I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

That made the wife say: ‘‘Well, I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that, so you better write it down."

With more irritation in his voice, the man said: ‘‘I don`t need to write that down! I can remember that."
He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returns from the kitchen and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs.

The wife stares at the plate for a moment and says angrily: "I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!"
GREAT LAKES, N.S.W.

A man telephoned the police during a Dob in a Druggie campaign to say his neighbour, Gus, was hiding drugs in his woodshed.

Next day police descended on the address and searched the woodshed. They busted open every piece of wood there but did not find any drugs.

Soon after they left the phone rang at Gus’s house.
‘‘Hello, Gus,’’ said the caller. ‘‘Did the police come to your place and chop up all your wood?’’
‘‘Yep,’’ responded Gus.
‘‘Well, happy birthday, maaate!’’
TAMWORTH FIRST LIGHT, N.S.W.

Some laws in life . . .
A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the pants.
Nothing is impossible for the man who does not have to do the job.
hawthorn, Vic.

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your decision.
GREAT LAKES, N.S.W.

What do you call a boomerang that does not work?
A stick.

SAWTELL, N.S.W.
A contestant on a television quiz show had reached the $250,000 question and was asked to name two of Santa’s reindeers.
Confidently he replied: ‘‘Rudolph and Olive.’’
The audience was stunned into silence and the host looked uneasy.
He said: ‘‘We can accept Rudolf, but how did you come by Olive?’’
The contestant burst into song: ‘‘Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose and you ever saw it you would even say it glows. Olive, the other reindeer . . . ’’
HINDMARSH, S.A.

English playwright George Bernard Shaw and Prime Minister Winston Churchill did not get along.
Shaw telegrammed the following invitation to Churchill: ‘‘Have reserved two tickets for my first night. Come and bring a friend, if you have one.’’
Churchill had the final word with this reply: ‘‘Impossible to come on first night. Will come on second night, if you have one.’’
COONABARABRAN, N.S.W.

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station. . .
GREAT LAKES, N.S.W.