Joe lived in a remote town. He had to complete a form to get some business that would be vital to the town.

The form was only available in a larger town a day’s drive away. So Joe drove to the town, booked into a motel overnight and then got the form next day.

He filled the form out carefully in the department’s office and passed it back over the counter.

Joe went home and some months later received a letter to say that the form had not been completed correctly and would he come into the office to make the correction.
So Joe made the day’s drive, booked into a motel and next morning went to the office.
There a clerk produced the form and pointed out that Joe had forgotten to dot an i.
Somewhat put out, Joe asked: ‘‘So you make me drive for a day and stay here overnight just to do that? Why didn’t you do it?’’
‘‘No way,’’ answered the clerk. ‘‘It has to be in the same handwriting.’’
PAKURANGA, N.Z.

A class was discussing whales and one girl raised the subject of Jonah and the whale.
The teacher said a whale could not swallow a man whole as it had a small throat.
The girl maintained that the story was true and when she got to Heaven she would ask Jonah.
The teacher smiled and said: ‘‘And what if Jonah went to Hell?’’
‘‘Well,’’ said the girl, ‘‘You can ask him yourself.’’
PHILLIP ISLAND AND SAN REMO, VIC.

A woman complained to a psychiatrist that her husband thought he was a refrigerator. The psychiatrist asked her why she thought that was so. She replied that he slept with his mouth wide open and the light was keeping her awake.
BRIGHTON, S.A.

The first Australian astronaut was in his capsule. Ready to be launched into space, he suddenly heard a reporter’s voice crackling over the radio.
‘‘How are you, mate?’’ asked the reporter. ‘‘Our viewers would like to know your feelings at this moment.’’
‘‘How am I feeling?’’ said the astronaut. ‘‘How would you feel sitting on top of 5,000 moving parts and every one of them supplied by the lowest tenderer?’’
lower blue mountains, N.S.W.

A word of advice . . .
If you are being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that.
wetherill park, n.s.w.

Random definitions . . .
An adult is a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is growing in the middle.
A chicken is something you eat before they are born and also after they die.
Tomorrow is today’s great labour-saving device.
A yawn is an honest opinion openly expressed.
STONES CORNER, qld.
.
Have you ever noticed that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have been waiting for them?
Lacy’s larrikins & ladies of oz bulletin

A handsome well-built man was relaxing poolside at an expensive resort. A woman kept staring at him until he asked why she was doing so.
She explained: ‘‘It’s just that you look very much like my third husband.’’
The man replied: ‘‘So you have been married three times.’’
‘‘Goodness no,’’ was the quick response. ‘‘Only twice.’’
BRIGHTON, S.A.