A knight was on his way to do something terribly important, riding his horse into the ground to get to his destination quickly. After being ridden too hard for too long, his horse became lame, and seeing a small town ahead the knight headed straight for the stables.

‘‘I must have a horse!" he cried. ‘‘The life of the king depends upon it!"

The stablekeeper shook his head. "I have no horses," he said. ‘‘They have all been taken in the service of your king."

‘‘You must have something . . . a pony, a donkey, a mule . . . anything at all?" the knight asked.
‘‘Nothing . . . unless . . . no, I couldn't."

The knight's eyes lit up and asked to be shown.

The stablekeeper led the knight into the stable. Inside was a giant dog, almost as large as the horse the knight was riding. But it was also the filthiest, shaggiest, smelliest and mangiest dog that the knight had ever seen.

Swallowing, the knight said: ‘‘I'll take it. Where is the saddle?"

The stablekeeper walked over to a saddle near the dog and began gasping for breath, holding the walls to keep himself upright. He told the knight he could not do it.

‘‘You must give me the dog!" cried the knight. "Why can't you?"

The stablekeeper said: ‘‘I just couldn't send a knight out on a dog like this."
LOWER BLUE MOUNTAINS, N.S.W.

The year was 1981. Prince Charles got married, Liverpool was crowned soccer Champions of Europe, Australia lost the Ashes, the Pope died. In 2005, Prince Charles got married, Liverpool was crowned soccer Champions of Europe, Australia lost the Ashes, the Pope died. In the future, if Prince Charles decides to remarry, someone please warn the Pope.
WETHERILL PARK, N.S.W.

A man was giving a speech at his Rotary club meeting.
He got carried away with his subject and talked for two hours.
Eventually, he realised what he was doing and said: ‘‘I'm sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home."
A voice from the back of the room called: ‘‘There's a calendar behind you."
WETHERILL PARK, N.S.W.

Don't aspire to become irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
GREAT LAKES, N.S.W.

After church one Sunday morning, a boy suddenly announced to his mother that he had decided to become a clergyman when he grew up.
‘‘That's lovely," said his mother, ‘‘But what made you decide that?"
‘‘Well," said the boy, ‘‘I have to go to church on Sunday any way, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."
WYNNUM AND MANLY, QLD.

Agapanthus are one of the easiest cultivated bulbs. They generally require a position in full sun, otherwise they will produce lush foliage and very little flower, and will grow in the poorest of soils. They are regarded as drought-resistant, but will flower best if given plenty of water when in growth.

The foliage is often attacked by slugs and snails which shelter in the cool leaves. They use them too as a base for nocturnal forays into other plants. A sprinkling of Blitzem or Baysol will solve this problem. Mealy bugs can gather at the leaf bases, looking like a fungus. Spray with Confidor, getting right into the base if this problem occurs.
Gardeners often say that agapanthus changes its flower colour. What probably has happened is that new plants have grown from seed among the existing ones and these are subject to the vagaries of genetic colour variation. Propagation by division in autumn or spring (the weather is milder) is the most widely-used method of propagation and the most reliable way of ensuring that plants are true to type.

Dividing plants will lead to a reduction in flowering. Most plants will only need dividing every four to six years or once flowering begins to deteriorate.

New flower buds are initiated soon after flowering has finished. At this time give plants a thorough watering when required.
Mulching and supplementary feeding (use Thrive Flower and Fruit for a good result) helps. Giving a high potash feed is often necessary.

Container plants should be kept in a cool, bright position over winter, avoiding excessive winter wet, or drying out completely.
In some areas agapanthus can spread unwanted seedlings and are classed as weeds. This can be prevented by removing flower heads as soon as they have finished blooming. Do not discard unwanted plants in bushland.