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In this article
The Healthy Rotarian continues telling about preparation for
the Albany to Perth charity bike ride.
The
alarm rings again at 5.00a.m.and
the group will be waiting at the take-off point for yet another
ride.
Camaraderie
is growing as the unification of grunting and groaning through
a 1000km a month for a few months is beginning to show. We roll
out on the bikes.
Head
and tail lights on. Leg and arm warmers are now routine. Yet
the normal chattering and banter is still present. These rides
are such a contrast to the rides of summer. The challenge still
remains in terms of balancing fluid intake and consuming enough
calories to get through back-to-back rides over five days. The
Healthy Rotarian is still there in the pack . . . somewhere.
Calculating that one needs around 4000 calories in the day to
ride means your calories need to be drunk rather than eaten.
A
world emerges of high-calorie drinks, energy bars, electrolyte
replacement drinks and advice from the dietitian about what
and how much to eat when riding. Eating regularly on a bike
is a skill in itself.
If
you are going to be in the saddle for at least five hours a
day then a person needs to sort out food consumption otherwise
you are not going to make it. All try different combinations
to see what works and tastes OK.
The
workload has cranked up to 300km a week with the longest ride
150km. It is getting to the stage where we are all making appointments
to see our families and the office is seen as a place of rest
and recovery. The other checklist for the ride is growing with
logistics. The support vehicles are in place. The briefing from
the medical team has taken place. Police have been informed.
The bikes have had their pre-race safety check and spares fills
a support van. The road coach to get the bikes and riders to
Albany is still to be finalised. Sponsors have meet at a launch,
admiring the team strips that riders will wear for the journey.
Some sponsors are even thinking about riding a leg with the
group. The website is complete. There is a genuine excitement
as the ride draws near.
An
enormous effort has gone into setting up the ride. The support
we have received in preparing for the ride has been fantastic
and the next time you hear from The Healthy Rotarian will be
post-ride and no doubt enjoying sitting on something that does
not need to be pedalled.
Graeme Wright: Optimum Health and Management Services, P.O.
Box 142,
Claremont, W.A., 6010. Phone (08) 9321 9677.
Fax: (08) 9321 9766.
E-mail: Gwright@lifechoice.com.au
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The
handsome new preacher in the little Texas town was a dead ringer
for Conway Twitty, the popular country music singer. He decided
to visit some parishioners he knew had not been to church for
some time.
The
first door he knocked on was answered by a young woman who exclaimed:
“Why it’s Conway Twitty!”
“No
ma’am,’’ he replied. “I am your new pastor
and I just dropped by to have a prayer with you.’’
She said to come right in. He visited more homes and everyone
thought he was Conway Twitty.
It was a long day and eventually he came to a widow’s house
at the end of the street. She was taking a shower at the time
and answered the door with only a towel wrapped around her.
“Goodness!’’ she exclaimed. “It’s Conway
Twitty.’’
She threw up her hands with surprise which allowed the towel to
fall to the floor.
And the preacher looked, paused and then said: “Howdy, darlin’!’’
CONTRIBUTED, W.A
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For the
golfers:
(1) Golf is a game where you call out fore, take six strokes and write
down five.
(2) Give me my golf clubs, fresh air and an interesting partner and
you can keep the golf clubs and the fresh air.
(3) The golfer’s diet: Live on greens as much as possible.
(4) It is not good sportsmanship to pick up lost golf balls while they
are still rolling.
TAMWORTH FIRST LIGHT, N.S.W.
Cleaning
tips for those who do not like cleaning:
(1) Always keep several get-well cards about the house so if unexpected
guests arrive, you can say you have been sick and unable to clean.
(2) Light the oven, toss a teaspoonful of cinnamon into the pan, turn
off the oven and tell unexpected guests that you have been busy all
day baking biscuits for charity.
COBRAM, VIC.
Late in
the day, a man walked into a doctor’s surgery and said: “Can
you help me? I think I am a moth.’’
The doctor advised that the man did not need a GP, but should see a
psychologist. The man said he knew that.
So the doctor asked: “Well, what made you come in here?’’
“Well,’’ came the reply. “Your light was on.”
KEILOR EAST, VIC.
A man and
his wife were reflecting on 60 years of marriage. He asked her if she
had ever been unfaithful and the demure reply was only three times.
The first
was when their business was going badly and it looked like the bank
would foreclose on the home mortgage.
The wife
went to see the banker and next day he extended a loan to get the business
over the crisis.
The second
time was when they did not have the money for his heart operation. The
wife went to see the surgeon and next day he telephoned to say that
he would operate without charge.
The husband
was touched at the sacrifices made by his wife when they faced such
trying times. He was most forgiving.
“And
when was the third time?’’ he asked.
Came the reply: “Remember when you wanted to be president of the
golf club and you needed 62 more votes?’’
CLARE, S.A.
A man heard
a woman in a supermarket talking to a toddler in the biscuit aisle.
The child
wanted to buy biscuits, but the mother refused and added: “Now
Monica we have only two aisles to go and we are finished.’’
It was the same in the confectionery aisle. The child asked for lollies
and continued to complain when refused.
“Not
far to go now, Monica, and we can head home’’ were the mother’s
comforting words.
At the
checkout the girl grabbed lollipops and threw a tantrum.
“Nearly
finished, Monica, and you can go home for something nice to eat and
a nap’’ was how the mother handled the situation.
Outside, the man said to the mother: “I couldn’t help but
be impressed with the patience you showed to Monica.’’
Sighed
the mother: “No, the little girl is Tammy. My name is Monica.”
BATHURST MACQUARIE, N.S.W.
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